However yo usay it, being a mom is everything at once

I can't believe the range of emotions and feelings I ahve in one day. The most obvious and pervalent is love, for my husband yes but undeniably for my children always. It's an emotion that is always there, sometgimes on the surface and other times less obvious but always there. This presence is sometimes ironic and even my greatest source of guilt or confusion because in the same moment that I am feeling worried about the allergic reaction Ryanna is having I am also so frustrated that I am being ignored and so I snap a little. GIve her arm a little jerk or raise my voice in that way that I know she'll understand I am upset. Not my best moments and almost always the ones I regret immediately, not to mention the tears that well in her eyes. She is smart enough and has vocabulary enough now to call me out on these moments. Mom, be nice! It's like a repramand and I honestly feel it. I guess what it comes down to is that I am not the suprememly patient and perfect parent I used to think I was. One thing is for sure though(well two if you count that I am not perfect): I love these kids more than my heart has room to process. Or at least more than I know how to write. I have to write though. It's time I think to write again. Like a journal only less about the me who focused on me and more the me who mostly thinks about her family but needs to think a little about me too so I am starting this blog. PHEW that was a run on sentence!! You probably didn't catch what the heck I meant but then again if the you I'm referring to is myself then yes, I understand perfecttly and that is the point. Love to my kids. Love to my hubby. Love to my Heavenly Father and brother Jesus Christ. Love to myself too.